


... in this house

by blackandwhiteandrose



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Boys Kissing, Canon Compliant, David enjoys the view, Established Relationship, Grey Sweatpants, Husbands, I would not call this a song fic, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Married Life, Patrick has questionable taste in music sometimes, Patrick's perfect ass, but there is a song involved, domestic friskiness, scenes from a kitchen, still learning things about each other, there might be twerking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:02:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25954921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackandwhiteandrose/pseuds/blackandwhiteandrose
Summary: "David paused outside the door, just as he was about to slide his key in the lock.What was that noise?And why was it coming from his house?"
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 32
Kudos: 100





	... in this house

David paused outside the door, just as he was about to slide his key in the lock. What was that noise? And why was it coming from his house? He hadn’t even taken a full step inside when he was assaulted by the heavy bass beat rattling some of the more delicate fixtures he’d carefully placed around the living room. “ _ What the fuck _ …” Was his husband actually  _ listening _ to this or had their home been invaded by a rogue gang of strippers?

He dropped his bag and followed the source of the cacophony down the hall. He was hoping for a quiet night of tasty food and lounging on the couch with Patrick, maybe catch up on “Nailed It!” or “Sugar Rush”. Whatever was happening in here was certainly not part of his overall goals for the evening. Or ever, really. 

Just before he rounded the corner into the kitchen, he stopped, brows furrowing. The sound was coming from the bluetooth speaker on the counter and he could hear Patrick saying... something.

_ “Certified freak, seven days a week…” _

Wait, what? David crept in a little closer, not wanting to alert Patrick to his presence. He was fully unprepared for the scene currently taking place in the kitchen. Patrick was at the sink, scrubbing the grill that he had apparently taken off the barbecue, probably in preparation for making dinner. But it wasn’t the potential for food that had the breath caught in David’s throat. 

His eyes slowly wandered over his husband’s body, cataloguing everything he was seeing. Patrick was barefoot, and wearing an old pair of grey sweatpants that did both wonderful and terrible things to David, a well-fitting white tank that he’d not seen the likes of since Ted at the apartment’s housewarming party, and his Jays baseball cap, tilted askew on his head. 

David stared, mesmerized as Patrick shook his perfect ass… was he ... _ twerking _ ?!... along to the words he was repeating with the song.

_ “I don’t spit, I wanna gulp, I wanna gag, I wanna choke, I want you to touch that lil’ dangly thing that swing in the back of my throat…” _

David’s hand flew to his mouth to stop the squeak that nearly escaped. He watched as Patrick’s hips stopped rocking and he groaned, stepping back from the sink. He seemed to be looking at his tank, that must have just gotten wet. He reached for the hem and pulled it up over his head, tossing it to land in a wad of fabric on the kitchen table. David whimpered softly. He had been wrong. No matter what he originally had in mind for the night, it did not compare to this. 

He couldn’t keep his eyes off Patrick’s back, the play of the muscles as he took the steel wool to the grill once more, rubbing over a stubborn spot until he was satisfied it was clean. Then he was moving again, grabbing a towel to dry the grill and practically gyrating, grinding against an imaginary dance partner. 

_ “Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet ass pussy, give me everything you got for this wet ass pussy…” _

David was still mildly horrified by the leftover evidence of the “rap phase” Patrick had once told him about, but he was also undeniably and unbelievably turned on. As Patrick arranged the grill against the drying rack, David made his way quickly across the kitchen. He grabbed Patrick’s bicep, startling him as he spun him around.

A slow smile spread across Patrick’s face as he looked in David’s wild eyes, knowing that he must have been in the room for a while. He was just about to ask when David slipped an arm around his bare back to pull him close for a rough kiss, full of urgency and want. Patrick reached up to yank his cap off and turn it around, letting him sink further into the kiss and David’s embrace.

David broke away for just long enough they could both take a breath and immediately brought their lips back together, claiming Patrick’s mouth again, hungry and intense, like he was necessary for survival. His fingers slipped down over Patrick’s solidly muscled stomach, dipping below the rolled-over waistband of his sweats. Following the light trail of hair below his belly button, David gasped, realizing that to further compliment this wet dream, Patrick had chosen to go commando. 

Patricked growled as David’s hand wrapped around him, “You wanna... do this here?” 

“Oh, no… no, but I have some questions about this mop and bucket situation you were referring to before we go anywhere else…” David said, smirking as he gently gave him a squeeze and then let go.

Patrick shuddered. “I thought you’d be more interested in the gagging and choking…” his eyes flickered up at David, while his hands went to the button and zipper on David’s skinny jeans, making quick work of them. He backed David against the counter and dropped to his knees, bringing David’s pants and boxers down with him. 

_ “My head game is fire…” _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> title and lyrics are from "WAP" - Cardi B. & Megan Thee Stallion
> 
> I'm sorry. That's all I have to say. That damn song has been following me around and somehow this visual of Patrick materialized in my brain and here we are.
> 
> Thank you for the late night read, InEveryUniverse_SC!


End file.
